Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
