Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
