Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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