You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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