In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
