JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
