Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize