If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
