She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize