paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
