yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize