we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize