Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He felt like a one man threesome
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
