i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize