Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
