mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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