Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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