i don't like sucking hair
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
