He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
