I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
