I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
