i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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