Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
