Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
