I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
