Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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