And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
