I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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