ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i now understand why vodka
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
