So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize