And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
