Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He did a backflip because drugs
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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