shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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