it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
