And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
