im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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