I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just google imaged poop.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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