is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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