How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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