Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Found the puke drawer
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
