The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
