do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
