My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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