I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize