You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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