I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
