I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
