she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
