We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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