Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
