i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
