I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
