Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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