i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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