I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
