Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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