Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
