just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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