i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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