It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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