but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
