She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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