I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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