I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
