I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize